dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
