i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
