all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
