Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
