also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
