They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm determined to sit on that face.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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