FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
