she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
