toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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