Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
How external is "for external use only"?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
