I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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