My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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