Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I think a kid would responsible me up
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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