please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
