Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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