Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
