How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
