This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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