I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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