Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
