some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I'm always down for nudity.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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