We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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