Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
