There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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