you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
