4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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