Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
