Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
