If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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