so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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