I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Rumble strips road head = magical
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
