he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize