Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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