You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize