Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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