Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
