Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
