You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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