Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
