either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
