Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
