Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
