I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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