i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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