just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
