im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
