I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Randomize
