If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
