Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
