when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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