Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
