Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
