Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Maybe he injected his testicle?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
