I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
