Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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