you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
