Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He has the fingertips of a God
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
