im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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