its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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