The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
