no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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