apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Still dying that you shit outside
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
